Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Slim Presents : People Actin' a Damn Fool.

Watch this hoodrat act a fool... read the subtitles.

How is it that I have never seen this until now? Absolutely amazing.
Of course the New Single, "President Charlie"

The follow up, "Can I Get a Minute, Aye!"

I don't believe in hitting woman... but I also don't believe in yelling at geriatric elderly women either. Glad the dude stepped up and snatched her half/do rag combo from her head.

What's is ironic about this clip is that I would rather listen to this bitch sing that song than the actual solider boy. Get nasty, Aye!
I'm still bobbin' to these tunes.

-Solider Slim, Aye!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

My 30th Birthday Party

This celebration will be held at The Garage on Capitol Hill. Bowling and Pool start at 8pm, but the partying will go all night. This place is really big and it's going to be a lot of fun. Make sure you come out!

-Slim!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Before There was Dirk

There was another 7 foot, jump shooting European with the speed and agility of a guard and the jump shot of Michael Jordan.
Yes folks, Boston's own Dino Radja.

Here is a video from his first 2 years in the Euro League. Imagine if he would've stayed that healthy when he was on the Celtics from 92 - 96. Guy would've killed it.

A center that ran the floor like Clyde Drexler...

The short of it... Radja was one bad motherfucker.

-Slim and Witty

Doing Things Like a Boss

Like getting into a car.

This guy is money and he doesn't even know it.

Be like this guy. Own your life and everything else will follow.

-Slim, Boss Life.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Sometimes...

Sometimes I chill out at work
Other times, I 360 body varial into oncoming traffic while sippin' on a frosty.
But, I always love summer.

Juicy Covered by Laura.

It doesn't start to get good around 1:32. Try not to die laughing.

She fucks this song up though. Seriously, who doesn't know all the words to Juicy?

Cripple FAIL!

-Slim.

The Best Cry Ever.

I remember Brobra made me check this out one time on tour and I laughed till my stomach hurt.

Then I started watching the variations and parodies of this beautiful clip.

And then the auto-tune version came out.

My personal favorite... THE SLAYER EDITION.

Seriously. If I couldn't laugh at other's tragedies, where would I be?

-The Best Slim Ever,

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Saturday Style.




Hello world, Happy Saturday.
Today I decided that I would keep myself and you, the reader, entertained by finding funny mugshots of random "criminals" and dipshits for your viewing pleasure.
I would like to thank google image search for the endless hours of entertainment that it has given me in the past and will continue to do so in the future. That being said, let's get into it. Let us laugh. Let us be confused. Let us be appalled. Most importantly... let us be glad that this is not us.
It would appear so...
I did some research on this photo and it's true, this picture HAS NOT been altered! Seriously? Fucking look at this gem. I'm not sure what this dude did to get arrested, unless impersonating Mr. Potato Head is an actual crime.
Can you be arrested for being immature? This woman just needs to grow up... and stop prostituting herself for meth. (not sure if that was her actual crime, but it appears that the shoe fits)
Randy Johnson's more attractive, bath-tub drug making older brother?
Never judge a book by it's cover, unless the cover says "I'm a giant fucking tool!"
This IS a legitimate police mugshot... you think a male cop took it? She was arrested for disorderly conduct, but released that day. Weird, who knew a set of D's and a cirlcle jerk down at the station could go such a long way? America, land of gold.
Who the fuck is this guy kidding? I bet you a million dollars this asshole didn't even vote.
Live it up, guy. Live it up. Where you're going, they don't take kindly to jokers like you.
Not shocking that this creep made it into this post.
2 noses, no teeth and a bad hair cut. Sucks to be you.
Ever hear that expression, "the back of your neck looks like a pack of hot dogs?" well, the front of this guy's neck looks like he ate an entire wiener dog.
I guess you can't say this dude hasn't been getting any sun... but I guess the ball cap has been keeping his head shaded while perched out in front of the local elementary school.
I can only speculate that the reason this dude was arrested has something to do with his hair being unfinished... or because he looks like a major asshole.
This dude was arrested for shoplifting. If I were the arresting officer, I'd just let this guy go. I'd be too afraid that he cast a spell on me.
Only god and crack-cocaine know what these eyes have seen.
Half-Beard Man was arrested, but apparently they could only charge the bearded half... go figure that it was the master mind behind the wrong doing.
You think smoking drugs out of a broken lightbulb lined with brilo had anything to do with this guy's arrest? Because I do.

-The Young. The Slim. The Gifted!

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Weekly Burnout!

This week reveals the unveiling of my newest weekly feature...

THE WEEKLY BURNOUT.

In this feature I will be addressing some of the biggest burn out, fail hard losers of our generation. This week's giant loser that I choose to address is none other than our favorite little forgotten bastard son, Macaulay Culkin.
Now, I know what you're thinking... How can a guy that poked Mila Kunis be "one of the biggest burn out losers of our generation"?
Well, I'll delve into that later in this entry, but first let's examine this little turd's "acting" career.
First and foremost, Home Alone.

Seriously though, if that little jerk-off, Kevin Macallister were my kid, I'd forget him too.
Now, he had been in other movies before this, but this was the big one that jump started his career and got him several play dates with the most infamous kid toucher of all time, ol' Wacko Jacko himself, Michael Jackson.

I was racking my brain trying to figure out why the big gap in Macaulay's career, because IMDB has it listed that he made Richie Rich in 94 and wasn't credited for making another movie until he co-starred in Party Monster in 2003. 9 year gap! What the fuck was this weasel doing? My guess, lots of drugs and hookers.

Argue that he never put his balls in the King of Pop's mouth, I dare you.
After watching this video and the behind the scenes making of Black or White... I can see why. Macaulay didn't need to work, he most likely had a stack of money for the out of court settlement for Michael touching his boy pieces.
I remember there being some kind of big deal about the golden boy falling off when this video surfaced. Seriously, is there a single drug that this won't do? Well, I guess if I were him I'd need something to numb the pain as well. Here is Macaulay making out with his then porker girlfriend at the time in this Sonic Youth video.

Even in his triumphant return of 2003 in Party Monster, he played a gay raver with a drug addiction.... sounds more like a biography than a movie.
I guess we're going to have to file "How this dipshit mounted Mila Kunis" under "UNSOLVED MYSTERIES", because I have no idea how old boy pulled it off, but kudos.


King of Slim~!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

The Face Behind The Genius

-young, slim and gifted.

Pictures Taken During The Month Of May and Early June

Here are some pictures that I took myself over the last month or so. They say that a picture is worth a thousand words... well, here's a million"s worth of words and a few of my own.
Enjoy my life
First and foremost, the beautiful Courtney.
Courtney and Silas.
Best aquatic candy of all time.


The "Born Wild" eagle ring Courtney got for me
The view from our brand new apartment.
Silas rocking out to some tunes.

The Seattle skyline at night from our living room window

The queen in her new kitchen.


Courtney's thigh.


Monday, June 6, 2011

Models Falling Down.

They're thin!
They're curvy!
They're wearing heals and other kinds of ridiculous shit!


Sounds like a recipe for disaster or an awesome opportunity for assholes like me to sit back and laugh out loud for a few minutes straight at the expense of these bulimic princesses.

First thing you're going to want to do is cut the sound on this video right here,

and hit play on this one.

It'll provide you with a more suitable soundtrack to watch these walking twigs draped in horrendous shit totally biff it over and over.
Also, if anyone in the world swagged harder than these old, date-rapist-looking white dudes.... I'd like to see it.

-Slim, get your science teacher perv swag on!