THE WEEKLY BURNOUT.
In this feature I will be addressing some of the biggest burn out, fail hard losers of our generation. This week's giant loser that I choose to address is none other than our favorite little forgotten bastard son, Macaulay Culkin.
Now, I know what you're thinking... How can a guy that poked Mila Kunis be "one of the biggest burn out losers of our generation"?
Well, I'll delve into that later in this entry, but first let's examine this little turd's "acting" career.First and foremost, Home Alone.
Seriously though, if that little jerk-off, Kevin Macallister were my kid, I'd forget him too.
Now, he had been in other movies before this, but this was the big one that jump started his career and got him several play dates with the most infamous kid toucher of all time, ol' Wacko Jacko himself, Michael Jackson.
I was racking my brain trying to figure out why the big gap in Macaulay's career, because IMDB has it listed that he made Richie Rich in 94 and wasn't credited for making another movie until he co-starred in Party Monster in 2003. 9 year gap! What the fuck was this weasel doing? My guess, lots of drugs and hookers.
Argue that he never put his balls in the King of Pop's mouth, I dare you.
After watching this video and the behind the scenes making of Black or White... I can see why. Macaulay didn't need to work, he most likely had a stack of money for the out of court settlement for Michael touching his boy pieces.
I remember there being some kind of big deal about the golden boy falling off when this video surfaced. Seriously, is there a single drug that this won't do? Well, I guess if I were him I'd need something to numb the pain as well. Here is Macaulay making out with his then porker girlfriend at the time in this Sonic Youth video.
Even in his triumphant return of 2003 in Party Monster, he played a gay raver with a drug addiction.... sounds more like a biography than a movie.
I guess we're going to have to file "How this dipshit mounted Mila Kunis" under "UNSOLVED MYSTERIES", because I have no idea how old boy pulled it off, but kudos.King of Slim~!
