All Things Slow Dance!

So once again I have created one central place to host all of the available Slow Dance media. Feel free to distribute this material, head bang, dance till your feet fall off, watch the videos and download the songs!

Gold Dust!

Fever Sleep!

Low 5!

Vampin'!

Melter!

And here is the location of the full length LP, Risk it All

http://slowdancemusic.bandcamp.com/

But if you're lazy and would rather listen via Youtube... here are the rest of the songs for the LP.

Marching Powder

Happy Trails

Look at You

Swagpile

G.R.K.

Tragic Magic

Risk It All

If everything went as planned, your head should be snapped off from you neck from extensive headbanging, your feet should be falling off, you should've already reposted this and played it for all your homies and coworkers.

Go to the facebook page, like it and keep up with us for concerts, new songs and much more!

http://www.facebook.com/slowdancemusic

and

@SlowDanceSEA on twitter

Thank you! Enjoy!

#dontcare #riskitall

Slow Dance! Gold Dust Video!

This is a video for the song, Gold Dust off of the Risk It All LP. Which you can get here.

http://slowdancemusic.bandcamp.com/

Go down load this record and head bang until your heads breaks off from your neck.

Stay tuned for concert dates and other info.

This is what you get when the keyboard breaks...

Hooray For Boobs!

I watched this 3 times on mute before I even realized it was foreign, but it doesn't really matter... not like I was listening to her anyway.

Welcome to my first installment of HOORAY FOR BOOBS!

George Muresan

For absolutely no reason at all... here is a photo of George Muresan.

SUNDAY!

Here is an old one. My favorite defensive lineman owning my most hated quarterback. tight.

Top Celebrities That Need to EAT SOME SHIT!

Hello and welcome to my blog.

:::Static Selecktah Voice:::
Let's get right into it!

Have you ever seen Anchor Man? I hope so, it's one of my all time favorite and most quoted movies of all time. Anyway, the reason I ask is because I want you to recall a certain scene. You know after Ron Burgundy gets abolished from the news station for telling San Diego collectively to go fuck their selves? Well afterwards, he wonders into a restaurant and tries to order a steak. He is refused the steak and instead, he is brought a plate of cat shit. The stipulation is that he must eat the cat shit for redemption to the restaurant owner for what he had done.
I like this theory! Instead of rewarding bad behavior like America often does, I believe that their only way back to redemption and overall good standing should be... to eat a plate of shit. After that, ALL IS FORGIVEN. It's the bottom line sign of accepting responsibility, admitting wrong and mending what they have done.

First on the list

Don Zimmer

Now I wouldn't venture to call this fat bastardly piece of shit a "celebrity", but I hate him and would love for him to eat a plate of shit. Now, he was the bench coach for the yankees for many years which is just one of many reasons why he deserves to plow into some shit. Bench coach? Fucking christ, what a worthless position. I mostly hate him, because he was a red sock for a long time and switched to the evil empire with a "can't beat 'em, join 'em." attitude. Seriously, fuck a traitor, cowardly unloyal bag of dick.

Remember when Pedro tossed him in 04?

Yeah, that was awesome.
So, eat some shit, Don Zimmer.

Keenan Thompson

I can't stress this enough... THIS DUDE IS NOT FUNNY! Only reason he ever landed in the limelight is because he was just a mere barnacle on Kel's nuts and rode the cotails of Good Burger. Seriously SNL, what the fuck are you thinking? I bet if you made this dude eat a plate of shit on the air... RATING THROUGH THE ROOF! Fire your PR Advisor and hire me. Done deal.

Soulja Boy

First of all, learn how to fucking spell. It's SOLIDER. Secondly, fire your stylist... ohhh that's all you? God help you. You look like an aborted California Rasin. Like a young flavor flav if flavor flav smoked crack and shot up heroine on the daily. Anyway, you're; cheezy, corny, lame, have no talent, no style, DUMB AS SHIT and so forth. Please, let me be the first to say, Soulja Boy, EAT SOME SHIT.

Skip Bayless

My most hated sports caster ever. Worst personality, shittiest attitude and his opinions..... fucking christ. Does this dude even know what sports are? Fucking fuck! He's about as pleasant as a genital rash. Dude is such a prick, even everyone in industry hates him. His only positive contribution to the world is if it were televised while he was eating his portion of literal shit. Don't even bother to heat it up, this ex host of Cold Pizza prefers his shit nice and chilled, washed down with some flat beer and Viagra. EAT SOME SHIT, SKIP BAYLESS.

Rex Ryan

Okay, Mister Foot Fetish himself. The piece of shit coach of my most hated piece of shit team. The guy is such a fat prick. Now, up until now, I'm guessing the only time he's ever eaten shit before was when he was sucking it off a hobo's feet, but for the good of the world Mr. Ryan... EAT SOME SHIT!

Bill O'Reilly

Okay, I get it that he's more of a character rather than anyone who should be taken seriously, but the dude fucking sucks. No idea what he's talking about ever. Then there was that weird sex scandal... Seriously, Bill-O, here is your heaping plate of shit. Dive in!

Lil Wayne

Now, I hate to say this to anyone that put out The Carter II (flawless album, instant classic). Now, no dis to his talent or music, but as far as style and actions are concerned... dude is corny as the corn in shit! Resort to above photo, seriously? Snowboarding boots? They serve no practical reason at a basketball game, unless the Staples Center in LA suddenly becomes engulfed by an avalanche... in that case, our hero is prepared, but until then... fuck yourself. Also, let's talk about how full of shit this shit-head is. He's at a Laker game with a Laker hat on... where the fuck you from? Ain't LA. You're from New Orleans and last I checked, NO is about to lose that team, because they got no money and last I heard, you're a billionaire. You can't pull a Jay Z like move and bail your home team out? Probably, because the hornets aren't trending right now, so you're out humping this laker trend. Also, Yung Weezy talk about being a blood.... How many bloods you ever seen wear pants like this?

Seriously, give your girlfriend her pants back. Sit down and help yourself to a nice big plate of shit. Actually have 2 plates... you know, to make up for the whole snowboarding boot thingy at the basketball game.

Kim Kardashian

Congrats Kim! Only woman to make my list. Seriously, this chick is a direct example of America rewarding bad behavior. Let me remind you how this girl got famous? Yeah the story ends with her playing a live skeet target to Ray J. Don't get me wrong, chick is pretty, boobs look awesome, but is dumb as fuck and makes me want to puke on command. Seriously Kim, EAT SOME SHIT! You know, for that whole bullshit reality showcase of horse shit.

Yep, Kobe is a rapist. A little bitch made bitch. Dirty player. Dumbest human on earth. I could go on and on, but I think we all know where I would end up... EAT SOME SHIT, RAPIST.
(Let the record show that EVEN Ray Allen hates him and Ray is by far the most notoriously nicest guy in the league.)

Terry "The Hulk" Hogan

So, the Macho King Randy Savage coined this dude, "The Pukester" and I refer to him as nothing other than that. The pukester has built his career off of being an ass-kissing pussy. What a weak little bitch. This dude has spent the last 15 years of his life dodging the Macho Man on some real life beef shit. Pukester and Macho were homies, but Pukester did him dirty and the Macho King couldn't look the other way. Since Machho Man has passed on as one of the biggest tragedies of the year, he can't continue the beef with the Pukester, but I can and I ain't letting this shit go. Eat a giant load of shit, pukester. See you in hell!

Steve the Dell Dude

Definitely not a celebrity, but definitely not a stranger to this blog. I hate this stupid, stoner ass hat. Please find him in any random Jack in the Box dumpster in San Jose and bring him to me. Set him down. Let him eat all the shit he wants. Fuck you, Steve.

Lamar Odom

This is not a biased decision to put him on the list. I know a lot of you think I just hate him cause he got me kicked off twitter. I hate him for legitimate reasons too. Not only is Lamar stupid, dirty player, retard, basically bankrupted and sank the entire UNLV basketball program, married "the ugly sister", was a laker for many years, has the douchiest brand Rich Soil... he's also hideously ugly. Which is why I chose the picture that I did. That's big Perk when he was on the mean green slapping him up. Also, Lamar is 6'11" and never dunks..... PUSSY! Eat some shit, Loser!

Chris Brown

And here we are! The top of the list! God, what a walking, talking, dancing human turd. I believe if this dude ate some shit, it would a form of cannibalism. I mean, c'mon, he looks like a real life garbage pail kid. This is America rewarding bad behavior at it's finest. Dude beats the living christ out of Rhianna, trashes a dressing room at a tv station, throws a chair through the window and just all around acts like a fucking asshole and all is forgiven because he can dance and invented the snapback. This retard also got me banned off of twitter. To end the list, let me say, EAT SOME SHIT CHRIS BROWN AND WHEN YOU'RE DONE, PLEASE EAT SOME MORE. I don't think you can ever redeem yourself in my eyes.


The young Slim and gifted! I hope you enjoyed my list!

The Justin Bieber Phenom! (WTFP OF THE DAY)

Alright, so I'm going to be honest with you. I don't know know a whole lot about The Biebster's music, but what I do know, I love. After finding out that Justin Bieber was actually a teenage boy and not a super femme lesbian "womyn", I was sold. He's like a 13 year old white version of Usher, what's not to love? Shout out to Usher, I've practiced making a lot of babies to his music and I'm glad to see he is still giving back to the community in the form of this little Canadian jailbate phenom.

Anyway, the reason I posted this particular picture of the Beebs (which I found on Celebrity Kick Sightings) was to add it to the growing list of one this blog's many features.... THE DAILY WHAT THE FUCK? PHOTO. As my man, Static Selecktah says, "LET'S GET RIGHT INTO IT!"
So, the reason this photo was posted on that site was to shed some light on the Bordeux Spizikes that Yung JB is wearing. Alright, I'm going to come out and say that I love JB, but the dude is pulling the celebrity card, like "ayyy yo, you simpleton motherfuckers, look what I got! 2 months before they come out!" And he dunks his balls into the world's mouth again with this corny move. Like, c'mon guy... if the whole nation of pre-teen girls and gay "tween" boys weren't licking your asshole, you'd just be another n00b chillin' in a canadian high school gym glass with a half chub in your shorts talking like a total asshole. So, I'll be the first to say, "GO FUCK YOURSELF, JUSTIN BIEBER!" I know, blasphemy, right? Fuck it though.

Anyway, back to the picture.

Let's disregard the sneaks for a moment... What the fuck is Justin Bieber doing holding this fucking kid? Who's kid is that? More importantly... why the fuck would you give your child to a child? Look at how many grown men are in this picture! Look at how many grown men are in this picture to protect Beebs, but not a single one can carry the fucking child? What the fuck good are you? Beebs, fire your squad and hire some more capable, less worthless assholes with better work ethic. And seriously, find the god damn parents of this kid. I know that kid isn't yours... judging by the height and weight proportion, it's probably a toddler, but just looks huge when you're holding it. Kind of like when midgets have averaged sized genitals... it's not bigger than usual, it's just LOOKS big on them. Anyway, that kid has to be toddler aged and I doubt your balls have been dropped long enough to really make that kid. Listen JayBee, you're starting that weird Michael Jackson creepy style a wee bit early. I mean, MJ didn't even get real weird until he started turning white. Go out and get a monkey first, fuck, name it "Bubbles". Just leave the kid alone, it never did anything to you, you creepy little perverted fuck.

Alright, seriously though. Someone needs to take this kid away from him and he needs to stop being asshole that does things just because he can rather than because he likes to or even wants to. Bieber, you're no better than Souljah Boy and I hope that hurts.

-Slim, signing off!

Look At This Familiar Face!

If you don't recognize this monstrosity... this is the tardy from my first ever WHAT THE FUCK PHOTO. YEs, we see our subject in a pool eating some ice cream... seems like an unlikely combo, but she's a downy, so no one questions it. Everyone is more hoping she doesn't piss in the pool. I like this angle of this angel though, she looks like a young, cross dressing version of Sloth from the Goonies. But seriously though, WHAT THE FUCK? Has this chick never heard of the 30 minute rule? She's not even disobeying it, she's straight up disrespecting it. It's not like chick went to 31 flavors on the way to the pool and was like, FUCK THIS SHIT, BITCH! I'M SWIMMING! Nah, she just sat her downy ass in the pool, like WHO GIVES A FUCK, BITCH! Also, let's not kid ourselves here, for a contestant in the special olympics, chick has a decent rack. Leads me to believe she may be a runner up in the Miss Special Olympics Pageant. Fuck, I'd vote for her. What do you think her speech would about? Probably about defying all laws, rules and general pieces of advice, like FUCK YA'LL SWIMMING MOTHERFUCKERS, I'M EATING SOME ICE CREAM IN THIS GOD DAMN POOL! Followed up by, FUCK ALL YOU BITCHES, I'M DRINKING LIQUOR AND DRIVING AND THEN TAKING SLEEPING PILLS AND STAYING UP. This chick is a real rebel of the funk. A true free bird flying free!

Your mind is now numb from that grenade of horse shit I just threw at you. My bad.

J.O.T.D. (JAM OF THE DAY)

The Scorpions were the best thing to come out of Germany since the Volkswagon.

Ignore that stupid ad at the beginning of this video and keep in mind that I used to fuck your girlfriend to this song.

-Slim!

What The Fuck or Fucking Awesome?

I say What the Fuck, that's fucking awesome! my favorite part of this pic is the straight up naked booty in the back, but that's just what I noticed right away. Secondly, I tuned into her shoes... check out those motherfucking stripper heals! Now, as a midget, I'm sure this chick wears some straight up little kid sized shoes. What the fuck kind of store sells stripper shoes for little kids? Now, I'm sure there's a secret spot that specializes in midget stripper heals and accessories, but judging by this chick's hair... she doesn't know about it. This lady is obviously OUT OF THE LOOP. I bet based on the novelty alone, this girl excells at her profession. Like, you could tell a story like, "yeah last night I went to a movie with my wife and had a nice steak dinner." or you could tell a story like, "last night I slammed a bottle a hooch and paid a midget stripper 200$ for a 30 second lap dance!" Both stories will get you judged, but only one will leave you with the reputation of a down right KING! So, seriously, seize the moment to better your life, your reputation and jump on the tiniest opportunity if it reveals itself. (did you see how many midget stripper puns I crammed into that sentence?)

Alright, Lil' Tanye. You keep movin' and groovin' and makin' those dreams come true!

Happy New Year!

Good bye 2011 and hello 2012. I a real awesome entry planned outwith a ton of cool photos and pessimistic rhetoric to go with, but I'm feeling extremely unmotivated and I', going to blame in on a dead mouse battery and a jammed space bar. But, I will leave you with this rad photo of Smokey Robinson.