Today's What The Fuck? Photo.

Alright, new installment in this blog. This is where I find a photo with a million questions to be answered and I do my best in breaking it down for you. Feel free to send in pictures that are boggling your mind, confusing to all 6 senses or just some shit you want clarity on. Enough banter, here is today's WHAT THE FUCK photo.

Okay, so I guess it's not a shock to see Cher next to someone else with a face almost as fucked up looking as hers. Remember her smash role in "Mask" starring Eric Stoltz? How about her chart topping hit, "I got you babe" with at the time hubby, Sonny Bono. There are so many questions that come to mind when I gaze upon this picture worth a billion words. Like, what the fuck is Cher wearing? It's like Cher was Gaga before Gaga was Gaga... was she ahead of the curve or was she just so far off in left field that not even people who were on a steady diet of acid and dorritos could grasp it? Who knows? So, let's get to the point here... What's up with this retard? The only reason I refer to her as that is because the only sense I can make of this picture is that she was a Make A Wish kid and chose to meet Cher as her wish. What kind of person would want to fucking do that? A retard, that's who. So, even if she didn't look like Corky from Life Goes On, I'd still judge her the exact same. Also, is she just a tardy, or is she a midget too? A midget tardy... life just isn't fair. And what's up with those teeth? I know I got fucked up teeth too, but if I were a make a wish kid, I just wish for new teeth. Fuck Cher, the woman has much allure as a wolverine with genital herpees. And where the fuck are they? It looks like a general cubicle in any general office. Congratulations all at Dickhead & Ascociates Collection Agency Calling Center... We're about to announce our employee of the month and to do so, we found the biggest, washed up Z-List celebrity in her 30th century space garb to deliver the plaque! Here you are, I hope your lives are better now.

Dodging all bullets and pulling no punches, Slim!

Email all WHAT THE FUCK photos to SlimTheCool@gmail.com

Follow me on twitter @notorious_slim

Little Man's First Xmas.

So I haven't really made a legit blog post since my son was born, so I figured I would do so now. This blog is dedicated to Silas to capture his first Xmas ever as a tiny little human being. Here is our subject with his mother. Let's see what cooky adventures he gets himself into.

Here is our hero with my Dad, Mick. A lot of people get all amped up to take pictures of their kids when they're all happy and smiling. That's cool and all, but I seize the opportunity to capture the little amigo at his worst. There will be a time in his life where he wants something and I'll be able to resort back to these files and be able to have photographic evidence of him being an asshole. You can consider this the ace up Papa's sleeve.

That's right, keep getting buck. Daddy and his camera are watching.

Silas and Courtney's mom, Shannon.

Silas opening gifts with my mother, Doris, whom I just found out this year that she does not like to be called, "door ass". Who knew?

Once again, our hero is caught being a jerk.

black cement steeze.

Bo Jackson wore these in the early 90's before he broke his hip. I wear them now and kick and equal amount of ass. Like every day is Super Techmo Bowl.

Little dude got some white cement to match his Pops!

He doesn't always fuss. Sometimes he's really cute.

But other times...

Big man doing big things. Like sitting semi-upright and pretending like he's going to unwrap a gift.

Even though his shirt reads, "cool like dad" which is clearly true... I didn't put him in it expecting people to take it seriously. Congratulations Silas, you're internet famous letting the world know, involuntary,

And that is one day in the life of our hero.

New Slow Dance Video "Fever Sleep" and Album Release Show!

Fever Sleep!

Make sure you check out Nectar on the 25th for the Album Release!

Slow Dance!

Melter.

Vampin'.

Low 5

Watch, enjoy and come see us tomorrow night at Neumos! We play at 7:45 and this show will most likely sell out so make sure you're in the building early! Bip!

-Eyeball!

Pictures of ME Doing Cool Shit.

Have you ever had your picture put on a shirt before? Well, I have. So, that makes me cooler than you. Put Dolbee and baby-nuts Chang in that category too, because it was this pic.

I have cool dance moves. Cooler than you anyway. And that was 5 years ago. Imagine how much I've gotten since then.

Yep. I was raised by wolves. I don't know any better.

And this one speaks for itself.

Rainfest 2009!

And there we have it! How'd you like that entry?

Over and Out!

Someone told me since this is exclusively MY blog, that I don't have to sign my name after every entry. Fuck off, I do what I want.

Someone's trying to kill me, man!

Do your self a favor and enlighten yourself on this classic flick from 93, Deadfall starring Nicholas Cage. Easily his best performance outside of Face Off. This performance was out of this planet amazing and can never be topped. If I ever made a film, I would hire cage to play this same character in the form of 5 separate roles. The real deal. Go on, what are you waiting for? The best 9 minutes and 21 seconds of your life awaits!